The room's spinning, I felt, as I reflect further
My heart and mind failed to synchronize and won`t let go
I doubted myself and know not what to tell you
And unsure If I should ever let you know.
Now I come to the difficult point
with grave difficulty to event start
I could end up rambling madly on and on
While despair sets in quickly in my heart.
All those times I spoken to you
It may appear to you that perfectly I am alright
Maybe its time I'll let you know
Great many times I cried myself to sleep at night.
As I`m laying motionless all day dreaming
trying to divert my mind but lost without a clue
Incapable to pen these thoughts coherently
for I am still far away from being through.
The affliction I had, I vowed to never let you see
My failing health & broken heart kept on hurting me
For alone I endured the hurt, the tears and the pain
Forever hiding myself from others, in the rain.
Frankly, I never believe I would ever recover
Longing to embrace the end that might well be near
Maybe my time's up and tis just around the corner
If not today, tomorrow or perhaps the day after.
Now time had passed and all of that is over
I`ve started again and hopefully I am now free
Sis, you probably wouldn't have the slightest idea
What you had actually done to me.
As I`m now calmly writing this down
I recalled being lonely, confused and had nothing to look forward to
Yes, shamefully its really true...
My principle idea of worldly happiness was
a simple notion of spending my entire life with you.
True love are the ones we keep close
The ones that one couldn't live without
The ones who really touched your hearts
Once you were mine, beyond a doubt.
I`m almost done writing to you my dear
I hope I had made it crystal clear
That I had really loved you so very much
And had always prayed for you to be here.
(next installment - Part III)
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