A Note to a Friend (Part V)

In photography and angling I perfected my art
Between the times I do my lawyering of sorts
With the Holy Quran, my heart won't smart
Dear Sis, I beg forgiveness for this world and Akhirat
I am a mere human being, of flesh and blood
A saint - certainly I am not!

Although I am not bidding farewell to you, my dear friend
I wish you as I always do, with a wry smile & heart in my hand
May Allah provide His blessings to you & family
Live long, happy and prosper till the end.

Amin.
Wasallallahu ala Khairi Khalkika Saiyidina Muhammadanin Nabiyyi Ummiyi wa ala Alihi wasahbihi wasallam
Walhamdulillahi Rabbil A'lamin

(Next installment - Postscript : for son & daughters)

A note to a Friend (Part III)

When I set out writing unsent emails to her
It was simply to pacify my sorrow and grief
In my hour of need she abandoned me
Incapacitated, unable to respond, I had to leave.

A frail old man was always there for me
A word from him is what it would take
to cause her relationship to break.

Dear Daddy, it really does not matter
If my heart is destined to be shattered by your beloved daughter
Her happiness was all I have ever wanted
I gladly back off, being rejected.
The old man's trust was a burden to bear
I was only getting in her way, and that was not fair.

Being a person trained to be honourable
to place all my cards on the table
Being sincere and got nothing to hide
I'll gladly face anything without a sigh.

Least I know she's sheltered from the storm
Snugly and warm safe from harm.
Being displaced - my presence undesired.
Enough was said, my time had expired.

Looking back, I know, I am just a fool
To permit myself being used as a tool
All hope was lost, I was alone
My splintered heart had turned to stone.



I could no longer bear the pain
If I stayed on much longer I'll be insane.

My dear friend, tis is hard to say goodbye
when one's heart was split apart
No bird can fly with broken wings
No one can live with a broken heart.

A volunteer came and became my wife,
She picked up the pieces and helped me to strive
To my wife, I gave my broken heart, nurtured
Tis was hard to mend, it had fallen apart
It was like building a house with only sand
Trusting my judgement till the end.

(Next installment - Part IV)

A Note to a Friend (Part II)

The room's spinning, I felt, as I reflect further
My heart and mind failed to synchronize and won`t let go
I doubted myself and know not what to tell you
And unsure If I should ever let you know.

Now I come to the difficult point
with grave difficulty to event start
I could end up rambling madly on and on
While despair sets in quickly in my heart.

All those times I spoken to you
It may appear to you that perfectly I am alright
Maybe its time I'll let you know
Great many times I cried myself to sleep at night.

As I`m laying motionless all day dreaming
trying to divert my mind but lost without a clue
Incapable to pen these thoughts coherently
for I am still far away from being through.

The affliction I had, I vowed to never let you see
My failing health & broken heart kept on hurting me
For alone I endured the hurt, the tears and the pain
Forever hiding myself from others, in the rain.

Frankly, I never believe I would ever recover
Longing to embrace the end that might well be near
Maybe my time's up and tis just around the corner
If not today, tomorrow or perhaps the day after.

Now time had passed and all of that is over
I`ve started again and hopefully I am now free
Sis, you probably wouldn't have the slightest idea
What you had actually done to me.

As I`m now calmly writing this down
I recalled being lonely, confused and had nothing to look forward to
Yes, shamefully its really true...
My principle idea of worldly happiness was
a simple notion of spending my entire life with you.

True love are the ones we keep close
The ones that one couldn't live without
The ones who really touched your hearts
Once you were mine, beyond a doubt.

I`m almost done writing to you my dear
I hope I had made it crystal clear
That I had really loved you so very much
And had always prayed for you to be here.

(next installment - Part III)